Do You Want To Get Well?

Last Saturday, I took my nephew Ethan to the Science Center. We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the... well, you know. But it didn't really matter what we were doing, I was just happy to be spending time with him. I love this little guy.

Good looking kid, eh? He gets that from his uncle. :)

What I don't love is that it seems to be cold and flu season in Calgary. An afternoon spent in an enclosed building full of hands-on exhibits and jam-packed with germ-infested rug-rats and ankle-biters is pretty much a fool proof plan for catching something.

And so I did.

It was a doozy too. I woke up Sunday morning feeling fine, but my nose was running. By late afternoon I was coughing so bad that I started tasting blood from whatever poor organ in my throat was taking the brunt of that punishment. By Sunday night I was burning up and nauseous. Monday morning brought severe headaches and stiffness to complete the ensemble. It was by far the sickest I've been in years. Unable to do anything, including lie down to sleep, I just sat and watched the clock tick slowly forward, wondering how I long I could endure this, and kind of hoping the fever would get bad enough that I'd pass out and not wake up until it was over.

Fast forward to today, and I'm back on the mend finally. Still coughing like a banshee in the mornings, but feeling like life is worth living again at least. I should be well enough to head back to work tomorrow, but after 4 days of lazing around, the thought of going back to work isn't very appealing. There's a part of me that wants to wake up tomorrow just sick enough to be able to stay home again one more day.

How exactly did I go from being so sick I wanted to die, to wishing I could just stay sick? Isn't that, well, sick? Yes, yes it is. Yet I think it's a very common mentality. Let me explain in my usual fashion... i.e. with far too many words. :)


Getting to the Point... Eventually

Here a great number of disabled people used to lie - the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" - John 5:3-6

Do you want to get well?

What kind of question is that?!?! The guy's been crippled for 38 years, living on scraps, barely even existing. Of course he wants to get well.

Doesn't he?

Well, here's an interesting take on that from one of the many self-help books I've been reading of late:

The invalid had to think it over. His whole identity was wrapped up in being crippled. Everybody knew him and came by and said, "Hi Joe," and Joe didn't have to work, didn't have to take on any responsibilities. He was a cripple, but he was in control of his life.

Jesus knew that if the invalid by the pool took him up on his offer to heal him, he'd have a whole new life. Once healed, we can't complain in self-pity anymore or tell other people it's their fault that we are not fulfilling our potential or being happy.

Hmmm... maybe that's not such a simple question afterall.

When you've been sick long enough that the condition becomes a part of your identity, getting well means you're going to lose a part of who you thought you were. Your entire way of thinking and behaving has to change. Maybe you're shy, or forgetful, or angry, or controlling, or judgmental, or anxious, or lazy. Pick your poison. As unpleasant as that "illness" is, if you've learned to function with it for so long that it's really all you know, whatever pain it's causing can be less frightening than the thought of trying to get through life without it and the ready-made excuses and escapes it provides.

So Jesus has to ask the question. He won't just take it away unless you're ready to give it up.

Things usually have to get pretty bad before we're willing to do something different. For some sad reason, we have to end up like the crippled man lieing on the ground before we'll say "yes!" The saving grace is though (and grace definitely is the key) that once life's been that bad, it can finally get really good.

I speak with some experience on this. A tad more than I wish I had. Those who know me know that I'm dealing with a pretty difficult personal situation right now which, quite frankly, is my own dang fault. I was one very unhealthy puppy for a very long time. And for the longest time, I didn't want to get well. I thought I did, but my behaviour clearly said otherwise. If not for certain people that God brought into my life, my wife Phoebe foremost among them, I wouldn't have been forced to deal with my illness. It's only now when I'm getting healthy that I can see how insane I really was, and how many areas of my life it was affecting. And how many other areas I still, and always will, need to work on.

Living healthy is always more work. But it is so worth it.


(Choosing) A Different Ending

Ever said something like "I guess it's a problem, but it's not that big of a deal. Every guy/girl/parent/couple/family/church/etc has issues like this, right?" Um... denial ain't just a river in Egypt. Those "problems," common as they may be, are still "problems," aren't they?

You don't have to keep accepting them as-is. I believe that not a single day goes by with out God asking us, "Do you want to get well?"

Next time you catch a glimpse of what's really wrong in your life, hear the question, and take time to really answer it. Don't bother with the Sunday-school "yes" answer, you'll get a lot further with an honest "no, not yet.” There will always be another chance tomorrow, God's funny that way. But really, why wait? Do you really need the pain to become crippling first?


On a quest for good health, and hoping to share that desire,

Greg